23. Aspiring TV Producer/Writer. Nerdcore badass. Los Angeles. And yes, my name is actually Neil McNeil.
Operator: 911 what's your emergency?
Me: THE AGE OF ULTRON TRAILER STILL HASN'T LEAKED I NEED YOU TO ARREST SOMEBODY.
Operator: Oh mY GOD SIR REMAIN CALM WE WILL GET SOMEBODY ON THIS IMMEDIATELY.
Posted on July 29 with 646 notes at 6:51 pm
Posted on July 29 with 5,613 notes at 6:50 pm
Posted on July 29 with 437 notes at 6:40 pm
Posted on July 29 with 277,759 notes at 6:18 pm

asinglegarbanzobeanonitaliantile:

me as a lawyer: kk that was rude . 

Posted on July 29 with 422,743 notes at 5:45 pm
Posted on July 29 with 28,068 notes at 5:42 pm

bikinipowerbottom:

"She’s really pretty for a black girl"

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“He’s really cool for a gay guy”

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“She’s doing really well for a woman”

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Posted on July 29 with 379,621 notes at 5:13 pm
oh mY FUCKING GOD 
Posted on July 29 with 4,358 notes at 5:00 pm

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

Posted on July 29 with 40,441 notes at 4:40 pm